Sunday, July 12, 2009

Weekend visit...

So Jill and I were getting a bit stir crazy around here and we decided to go away for a couple of days to a nearby city...we'll call it Schmemphis to protect those that live there.

We'd been there once before and I actually liked it. I find this curious now, considering I wasn't on any serious drugs at the time. Perhaps the ongoing economic downturn has really taken a toll over the last six months...or perhaps I am now subconsciously aware that Schmemphis is the violent crime capital of the United States...but whatever the reason, I can now charitably describe Schmemphis as an absolute pit.

On a goof, we drove by...uh...Schmaceland just to see what the fuss was about. Every stereotype of the people that make pilgrimages to this place appears to be true -- albeit from the window of a passing car about 100 yards away.

As Jill said, "if that guy hadn't died on a toilet here, there wouldn't even be a city." Hard to argue the point. Although we did have a very nice dinner last night.

Of note, there were many headlines about a decade ago about the West Schmemphis Three, some adolescents accused of a murder. Having driven through West Schmemphis now, I can say without a doubt that they are innocent. Any and all unnatural deaths in West Schmemphis must be the result of suicide given the absolute despair that must set it if one lives there.

Observed on the road between our current digs and Schmemphis: a large (VERY large) billboard saying "USE THE ROD ON YOUR CHILDREN AND SAVE THEIR LIVES!!!!!" with the appropriate Biblical citation beneath it.

That's right, people! Beat your kids senseless and knock 'em straight into heaven!

Jesus is rolling His eyes.

We plan on having dinner this evening with BB and his lovely wife so I will hopefully have something a bit more upbeat to report!

3 comments:

  1. Utterly astonishing that a billboard is being used as parental guidance!!! That would be too funny in L.A., but who can read in Schmemphis?

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  2. I had to laugh out loud at this one

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