Monday, February 16, 2009

Good Night Saigon...

It's very hard to go to bed, knowing this will be the last night at home for three months...knowing that tomorrow morning I say good bye to my kids for what will seem an interminable amount of time to them, and to me. Parker is bad enough, but she'll be mostly the same when I come back to see her in three months. My little son, though, is only 17 months. And he'll be very different...maybe starting to speak in full sentences. I've set up videoconferencing so I can see them each night...but arms can't reach through a monitor for a hug. My heart breaks with all the things I'm going to miss because of this bullshit disease.

The bags are packed...Ray is with the car in Amarillo tonight and will make it out the rest of the way tomorrow, getting to Little Rock just after we've arrived, checked into the apartment, and gotten the lay of the land. My hair is cut shorter than it's ever been. Parker even said "you don't look anything like daddy."


I know I won't sleep a wink. But still I have to try.

More nonsense from CIGNA...

So the good news is I got a phone call saying that the procedures have been approved. This is once again inconsistent as they have also been asking for several more tests (a close-up jaw x-ray, a PSA (prostate) urine and blood test, and something else that escapes me). I've asked my contact at CoPay Solutions to confirm we don't need to bother with this stuff -- why waste time and complicate things if we don't have to?

They haven't yet approved lodging and transportation -- and the funny thing is, when I say "I know your policy is just deny, deny, deny, deny, deny until the person goes away" they never challenge or correct me. They had also said that the denial for my lodging and travel would be sent out about two weeks ago, and I find out today that the letter is dated February 16, so they just plain ol' lie. That's okay. I will take them on and demolish them if need be, just as I am going to demolish cancer.

Lastly, I heard from a Dr. EA at BB's clinic who completely contradicted what CS told me about mouth sores. The "we haven't seen any in two years" has been replaced by "you will probably get them, and we use ice chips to try to minimize their severity."


Anyhow, tomorrow is the big day. Any moment my hair guy is going to arrive and I will turn into a marine recruit. "With a bit of shape to it," my stylist is quick to point out. We shall see! :)

Tomorrow, then, we board our plane. I did some work with Parker on her George Washington Carver project, and we made waffles this morning. She loves helping daddy make waffles. I relished that. It's going to be a long time until we make them again.